Ok, so here are some before pictures. The beach ones were taken early June and the others 9 days ago. I'm feeling pretty apprehensive about posting them. This is mostly because they are very devastating and embarrassing for me to even look at, but I promised. I can't believe that I wasn't able to see how big I had let myself get but now I do and I am truly disgusted with myself. (The only thing I can think to call it is selective visual denial.) Its not only the weight, it's just the general neglect of my well-being. I haven't posted for a few days because i was thinking long and hard about these pictures. This is a public blog, anyone can view, and that leaves me open to ridicule and judgment. Why would I want to do that to myself? I decided that I had to because I have to say goodbye to the person in the photos and not hold onto the past. I am doing something now and I don't EVER want to be that person again. There's a stigma that comes with being overweight. You all have only ever seen my face till now so please don't be too harsh. I'm still the same on the inside. :(
I love you Raven! You are a gorgeous woman, overweight or not. Know why? Because the kindness & true you shines through you like a light coming through your pores! You are amazing & you should never feel ashamed or embarrassed. You are changing. You are posting to say, "here I am, this is who I DON'T want to be, I am doing something damn hard & I am proud of what I will accomplish!" You may have just helped someone you may never meet or even speak to, by posting your before's. You should be applauded, not ridiculed. You are brave & you are an inspiration, loverbutt! Remember, "You is kind. You is smart. You is important." :)
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