Trying to right the wrongness...

Lately, I have not been feeling well. :( During this last leg of Insanity I have found that I'm not able to keep up the way I was and its starting to feel like I have lead weights strapped to my legs. I don't know if this is normal or if this is what comes along with being so obese while doing a high impact workout. Some this is wrong with my left foot, my lower back to the left side, and my knees. I'll give you the skinny on each...

-Foot: I have a sharp stabbing pain in the center of my foot. Wrapping it made it hurt worse. Elevating it has done nothing. Ibuprofen doesn't help. Stretching it doesn't either. It hurts like a bitch. And it's random as hell. It doesn't bother me when I'm working out but burns when I'm sitting or walking normally.
-Back: It feels like I slipped a disk combined with sciatica. I've had my back go out before, slipped disks, and pinched nerves. These are all old problems that spawn from a horseback riding injury. They have always been amplified because of my weight. Now that I'm doing something to take the weight off and it's blowing up in my face.
-Knees: They get sore. (Obviously thats going to happen with nearly 75 lbs of unnecessary weight on them, but shit!) Not only that, they creak/grind/crunch. I actually took a video on my cell phone of me just bending and flexing my knee and it sounds like someone is grinding their teeth. I'm worried I'm wearing down my cartilage. I don't know if that's possible in only 2 months but it still scares me.

I am looking into a comprehensive wellness center for treatment and am going to call tomorrow to see if they accept my insurance. I hope I can be seen before I start Insanity over again in 2 weeks. I don't want to go and find out that I need to rest for a week or some shit and totally fuck up my progress. I don't really want to take it easy or slow either. That will just whittle down any endurance or strength that I have gained since starting my diet and exercise routine. Plus, I know resting on my ass, diet or not, will just start retaining weight again and that prospect sucks!

Besides those things, I think I might not be getting enough fiber or something is wrong with my plumbing. (TMI WARNING) Earlier today when I was peeing, my right side started hurting. Like a dull stabbing pain. Now it's just sore. And I'm also having some difficulty with #2 but that's gross and I don't want to go into detail about taking a dump. I just feel super bloated and nauseous and like I can't get everything out. It sucks and makes me feel like I'm carrying around 15 extra lbs.

I just generally feel like crap right now, when I should be feeling really good about myself. I have lost a tremendous amount of weight for such a short time and I feel like I can't enjoy it because something or other always hurts. It's a little discouraging.

I'm not going to give in though. I just want to get help and get all this crap fixed so I can carry on with my life and my weight loss. I guess it's just another obstacle I have to conquer. I know getting fit and healthy isn't easy. I just wish is wasn't so damn hard.

This is how I feel right now...

I can see the difference now...

So, I finally have my pictures from month one done. (Sorry it took forever. I had to go buy a new keyboard for my computer because mine totally crapped out and I couldn't log into my pc.) I am extremely surprised by the difference I can see now and very happy. Check em out...

Day 1 vs. Day 30

 

 

What do you all think??? Its been one month and I am sooooo proud of myself! I know I'm still really big but I'm on my way.

 

In other news, I experienced a weird setback this past week. About 4 days ago, my weight spiked 2.5 pounds for no reason. I did not cheat on my diet or do anything different other than start the 2nd month of Insanity. It really frustrated me and I'm still clueless as to what happened. My lersbian lovOAR suggested water weight from ovulation so there's a theory but I don't like it!!! It discouraged me so much that I have been obsessively weighing myself, which i know doesn't help anything. I guess I have to just deal with it and lose 2.5 lbs of mystery fat in addition to what I have left to lose.

 

I know that I'm going to have the occasional setback and that crap like this will happen but I guess I just figured it wouldn't if i was really good or it wouldn't be so soon. I hope this isn't something that regularly occurs with exercise. I get myself butthurt really easily and don't want to become too preoccupied with a pound or two when things like this happen. (I'm already way too concerned with my weight as it is and mostly not for the right reasons.) I think I need to hide my scale for a week.

 

Anyways, i have a couple questions for you other weight loss warriors...

 

1. My knee pain has gone away but I have developed a sharp nagging pain in my foot. It's persistent and has been bothering me for a week now. The only time it doesn't is when I'm working out. Any clues as to what it is? Or is it my foot just telling me to fuck off for putting so much strain on it lately?

2. Do you occasionally experience mystery setbacks? How do you cope with them without becoming obsessive?

3. I have been thinking of making myself a reward list. Like if I lose x amount of pounds, I get y gift. Is this good motivation or should I just strive for the weight loss itself. (My dad told me when I hit 200 lbs, he'd buy a new wardrobe. Then when I hit 150, he'd do it again.) I like the idea of rewards. Why do you think I put sparkly stickers on my calendar chart instead of marking days off with pen??? LOL, i just don't want to motivate myself for these things and then after I get them fall into the same bad habits.

4. I'm getting kinda tired of eating the same old stuff everyday. Anyone have any really good recipes or sites I can visit to find low carb/low fat/ low cal meal options? I've looked at a few but they seem to be following  certain fad diet trends. I just want to eat as healthy as possible, considering I have to eat 5 times a day.

5. I know stress contributes to weight gain and increased cortisol levels. What do you do to unwind or de-stress? I have a short fuse and get pissed easily and frequently. I really want to work on this. Not only to benefit my weight loss but to have a happier home for my family. i would like in the moment suggestions as well as long term. Any thoughts???

 

Well, that's about it for now. If you don't want to post on here or IG, my email address is rubyknucklesinc@yahoo.com. Feel free to contact me with any suggestions you have. I'd really appreciate any input. :)